History

Ryanair is a boil on the arsehole of aviation. They take pride in providing the worst service in the sky and do not disguise the fact they exploit their aircraft to their maximum operating capacity, pay their staff the lowest possible wages and charge their passengers the maximum amount of ‘service’ fees. They play airports off against each other to screw down landing fees and their bargaining skills with airline manufacturers make used car salesmen look like rank amateurs. The Dublin based carrier commenced in 1985 and has mutated into the world’s largest international airline by passenger volume. CEO, Michael O’Leary drew inspiration from US no-frills carrier Southwest and took advantage of EU air travel deregulation in 1992 to offer ‘services’ throughout Europe and Morocco. In 2006 and 2008 the airline attempted to take over Aer Lingus, but failed. The carrier engages in numerous publicity stunts, negative TV shows about itself and courts controversy and scandal as a means to generate free publicity. It seems to work, as growth is constant and its profits belittle legacy European airlines.

On-Board Service

The only reason passengers fly Ryanair is price. On board service ranges from satisfactory to nasty. Disabled passengers are a nuisance and toilets are optional extras. Most aircraft have had some WC’s removed to squeeze extra sardines into the cabin. Staff are rude, service is poor and planes can be grubby with food and drink stains often found on their synthetic leatherette seats. Mercifully flights tend to be short.

Network

Firstly the airlines network of supposed cities serviced is deliberately misleading. The airline uses the cheapest terminals and airports and describes these airports as serving the closest large city even if it’s an extremely long distance away. For example Ryanair’s supposed service to Dusseldorf flies to Weeze Airport which is 83km away from the city and sits close to the Dutch border. To describe Weeze as Dusseldorf is a complete lie. However the airline does service many ‘real’ cities and their European network is second to none.

Price

While the airline provides basic fares, these seldom resemble the cost of the trip. Essentially their cheap fares are a marketing ploy which actually works. On top of fares are credit card surcharges, baggage surcharges, wheelchair levies, check in fees at the airport etc. The airline hopes to catch passengers out with excess baggage and the airline’s profitability relies on these extras. If you want to eat you pay. They even tried to charge for toilet use and have not given up on that idea.

Catering

The airline provides no free catering but flight attendants will offer passengers a range of fattening junk food snakes, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks to buy on-board. Like everything else about the airline their catering service can best be described as crap. They typically maintain minimal stocks and often run out of choices. If you want something nice to eat, bring it from home. Surprisingly the airline does not charge passengers for the privilege of consuming your own food on board (yet).

Entertainment

Well, you can browse the Ryanair Magazine which is actually quite a good read. Other than that you can watch the antics of football hooligans, staff being rude to passengers for not giving exact change, or squirm uncomfortably in your cramped vinyl seat listening to your iPod.

Ground Service and baggage

Ground staff are not paid to give any service but are searching for any opportunity at all to relieve passengers of money for extras. Passengers must check in on line before arriving at the airport or will be slogged with a hefty check-in fee. Boarding cards will happily be re-printed, for another substantial fee. Bags are checked in, for a fee. Staff regularly close flights while passengers are still waiting and the check-in counters will not be reopened. Arguments are not avoided and if a camera is around they seem to thrive on the attention. If bags are lost it’s the passengers fault and you’re given a lecture on the necessity of Travel Insurance.

Premium Classes & Lounges

Non existent. The airline is the ultimate in one class travel; Cattle Class.

Economy Class

Describing Ryanair’s one class of travel as Economy Class is a huge insult to the term. From personal experience, Pakistan Railways provide a far superior service to Ryanair. However, if you have little or no baggage and are actually going from and to the places served by Ryanair it can be not too bad an experience. If you are going on a relaxing vacation this is an appalling way to start or finish and you should lash out and book a real airline.

Frequent Flyer Programme

If there was any money in it they’d have one, but the airline knows what most frequent flyers don’t, and that is; frequent flyer programmes are basically a waste of time for all parties concerned.

Corporate Culture

The airline operates on the fringes of the law and often oversteps the mark. Those you buy Reeboks and know they have been made in an Indonesian sweatshop and are comfortable about this fact are the sorts of people that Ryanair select for managerial positions. The airline is all about tricking passengers into thinking they’ve received value for money and playing industry providers off against each other. The airline screws staff, passengers, airports, aircraft manufacturers, unions, regulatory authorities and the disabled whenever they can get away with it. If there is an airline Hell, all of Ryanair’s executives will be roasting in it.

Safety

Strangely enough the airlines safety record is surprisingly good despite pushing both aircraft and pilots to the limits. They’ve admitted telling pilots to cut corners but the professionalism of pilots as a fraternity and the fact the airline buys new aircraft means they have a satisfactory record.

Ryanair - Rating

Ryanair is bus with wings. Service, standards and satisfaction is the lowest it can be to match their prices.

www.ryanair.com